


empty chairs at empty tables

by memorysdaughter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Polymachina, Spoilers for episode 64
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:36:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorysdaughter/pseuds/memorysdaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe, just maybe, none of them need to be alone tonight.</p><p>In which they realize someone will have to tell Pike.</p><p>SPOILERS for Episode 64.</p>
            </blockquote>





	empty chairs at empty tables

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by watching an anniversary video for "Les Miserables" this morning and being reminded of all the fantastic lyrics in that show. The title is obviously inspired by "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables," and two of the four verses included below are also from that song. The other two are from "Epilogue" and "Bring Him Home." Some of the lyrics were modified slightly to fit the fic.

_There’s a grief that can’t be spoken_

_There’s a pain goes on and on_

_Empty chairs at empty tables_

_Now our friend is dead and gone_

 

They trudge up the hill to the castle, bowing under the weight of their encounters in Draconia.  Though it’s just slipping towards dusk, somehow the town around them seems smaller, tighter, grayer.  They walk under the weight of it, hunchbacked with grief, the clouds overhead clenched like fists, full of the tears they’re fighting back.

At the top of the hill, the castle a welcome beacon, Vax holds up one hand.  Around him Vox Machina slows.  He speaks, his lips trembling. “Pike.”

Next to him Keyleth lets out another sob.  They haven’t considered what they’ll tell their friend, their gentle-hearted, white-haired cleric.  It seems incomprehensible to recount what’s happened.  None of them seem to have the energy to get the words out.

Finally Grog speaks. “I’ll get her.”

“We’ll gather in the drawing room,” Percy says.

“Get us some ale,” Grog grunts, and he goes inside, the light seeming to swallow him up, leaving the rest of them blurry shadows against the deepening gray sky.

 

_And remember_

_The truth that was once spoken_

_To love another person_

_Is to see the face of God_

 

Grog finds her in the bedroom she’s been allotted, kneeling in front of the small statue of Sarenrae on the windowsill.  The sight of her so small, so soft, so vulnerable - something in her pose smacks into his chest like a barrel of ale fallen from an upper-story window, and he goes to his knees with a heavy _thud_.

Pike turns to him and rises, crossing the floor to him in a series of swift seconds.  Her arms go around his neck and he hugs her to him.  He closes his eyes and pretends it’s not happening, pretends they never went to Draconia, pretends they never saw the destruction, pretends none of it’s been real, that’s it just him and Pike, like it was when they were younger and nothing like this had ever happened to them, nothing like this was ever something they considered possible.

“Who’s hurt?” she breathes, obviously thinking of Vex’s death, or his, something she could fix, push back the darkness for someone to rise once more.

Grog just shakes his head.

“Grog, who’s hurt?” Pike asks, a little more firmly.

“Come on, buddy,” he croaks, and scoops her up. “There’s… there’s something we need to tell you.”

 

_Here we talked of revolution_

_Here it was we lit the flame_

_Here we sang about tomorrow_

_And that tomorrow never came._

 

He puts her down in the doorway to the drawing room.  Pike looks in at her friends - they seem older, somehow, curled into themselves.  Keyleth’s leaning against Vax; Vax’s staring out the window but his free hand is clenched in Vex’s.  Vex lays sprawled on Trinket, Percy next to her.  Scanlan stands up like he’s been expecting her, and holds his hand out.

She walks closer, a bit unsteadily, and he puts one hand to her cheek.  There are tears in his eyes.

“What happened?” Pike asks.  Her voice breaks the silence in the room and everyone and everything in it seems to quiver as though they’re soap bubbles about to break.

Vax disentangles himself from Keyleth and his sister, and comes to kneel in front of Pike. “We found Tiberius,” he says.

“Where is he?  Can I help?”

Vax squeezes her hands in his, and he shakes his head.

A ball of rage builds in Pike’s chest and she screams in abject misery, fists clenching and her entire form seeming to shimmer in a sudden wave of bright light. “ _No!”_

Vax doesn’t hesitate - he leans forward and wraps his arms around Pike.  Her fists beat uselessly against his shoulder and he swears he feels a sharp zap of divine energy pulse through him as though it’s not just Pike’s fury he’s feeling but Sarenrae’s too. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

“They’ve taken _everything_ ,” Pike sobs. “They took our home, they took people we _loved_ , people we’ll never get back, and every time it seems we get closer to fixing this, something else goes wrong.  I’m so _tired_ , Vax.  I’m so _tired._ ”

There are no words to make any of that better.  Vax just holds Pike to him, tears streaming down his own face.  Then he feels arms encircle him, and raises his bowed head to see Keyleth kneel next to them.  Vex is the next one to move towards them, and she leans into Pike. “I’m tired too,” Vax hears his sister whisper into Pike’s hair.

Percy slips in next to Vex, and Scanlan puts his hand on Pike’s shoulder.  Grog seems to hesitate, but he too moves into the embrace, nearly able to encircle them all with his giant arms.  Trinket nudges up against Vex, putting his head in her lap.

The room rocks faintly with the sounds of crying, mourning seeming to bounce off the windows, reflected back at them in a wave of grief.  It rolls over them, bowing heads, breaking spirits.

At last Pike speaks. “Please… for tonight… don’t leave.  Don’t leave me anymore.”

“No,” Vax promises, and presses a kiss to her forehead.

 

_He was young_

_He was afraid_

_Let him rest_

_Heaven blessed._

 

They sleep in a tight knot of exhaustion and grief, each of them connected to one or two others through touch, as though they each refuse to become a solitary ship drifting in a storm-rocked sea.  Keyleth falls asleep first; Vax curls around Keyleth and Vex winds up back-to-back with her brother, clinging to Percy’s hands, Trinket providing a pillow for their heads, one dark, one light.  On the other side of Trinket Pike lays, balled up, Scanlan on one side and Grog on the other, one of each of their hands in hers, anchoring her to their presence.

None of them is alone.  No one is forgotten.  And yet the room still feels oh-so-empty.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr as memorysdaughter.


End file.
